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| Olinda, Joanna and Carolina, Lima April 1991 |
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| Loring, Max, and Carolina, Beverly May 1991 |
We are going to Peru next week, our first trip there in
about fifteen years. I’ve been there six
times previously,once on a vacation, twice to adopt Max and Carolina, once on a vacation to Machu Picchu when the
kids were pretty young, once to do some volunteer work with street kids in
Ayacucho (where the family joined me afterwards and we traveled north to
Cajamarca and other places) another time to visit, buy handicrafts, etc. All of
the trips have been special, but this one promises to be much more significant
than the others, with the exceptions of the month I spent each time for the
adoptions.
I have never written at length in this blog in anticipation
of a trip, only once I have arrived. But this journey has much more
significance and needs some more background information. Travelling together,
at least for the first part of our trip, will be Carolina, her husband Franz,
Loring, and me.
Just over 28 years ago, on Mother's Day in May 1991, I walked the streets of
Miraflores, in Lima Peru, my infant daughter strapped to my chest. Numerous times, someone smiled at me and
wished me a happy Mother’s Day. I realized then that the holiday was celebrated
in Peru, too.
Max and Loring had been with us the first two weeks, and I remained in Lima with baby Carolina for
the duration of the adoption process. The birth mother, under Peruvian law, has
45 days in case she decides to change her decision to relinquish her child. I
wasn’t worried, nor was I anxious to go home. I was thoroughly enjoying my time
in Peru, as I had nearly three years before when we’d adopted Max.
We’d met Olinda the day we got Carolina, the morning after
we arrived. This was quite a surprise. Three years prior our lawyer, Raul, had
hemmed and hawed when we asked merely for a picture of Max’s birth mother. He eventually said he would get us one, but
he never did. Now, he picked us up at
our apartment, brought us to the foster mothers ( a mother and daughter) where
Carolina had spent her first month, and then, brought us to Olinda with
Carolina in our arms. It was emotional, of course, but Olinda seemed, as much
as one could tell, comfortable with her decision. She already had one child, a
boy, and in the adoption papers said she
wasn’t able to care for a second one.
Olinda had given the baby her own name, Olinda. We had already named her Carolina, (Max hadn't been named, we gave him his name and it went on his original birth certificate)We felt
terrible not keeping the name, really the only thing Olinda could give her. So we
named the baby Carolina Olinda Liss Merrow, which, when she was a bit older, she delighted in
reciting.
A couple of months ago, Carolina received a startling
message on facebook. It was a young man, Tito, who told her he was her younger
brother. Tito said he’d been looking for her for a number of years, and finally
tracked her down via our lawyer, which led him to me, and then to Carolina.
She was elated, and we were excited too. Carolina found out that there was not only 24 year old Tito, but 18 year old Renzo, and 15 year old Emita. Plus Tito had a partner and a young daughter. So Carolina suddenly had a whole new family, including a niece! They all lived with Olinda, in a small shack- like house in Tamshiyacu, the same town where Olinda had lived when we adopted Carolina. We skyped with them and saw them all, including Olinda, who is in a wheelchair, and not in good health. She is in her fifties now.
I’d met Olinda twice, when we received Carolina at five
weeks old, and a year or two later, when
Max and I were visiting Lima. Raul had
brought Olinda back to Lima with her one year old daughter, Erika. Erika had a
malformed foot, and Raul had arranged for her to have surgery. He had also
hoped to find an adoptive family for Erika, but that never happened.
When we recently learned about Olinda and the siblings in
Tamshiyacu, I asked about Erika. There had apparently been a rift between
Olinda and Erika at some point. She had left Tamshiyacu and now lives in Lima
and has a small daughter. (another niece!) We contacted her on fb, and it seems as though she
has now had some contact with Olinda and the other siblings. We will hopefully learn more when we are
there, and possibly meet her in Lima.
Before the recent contact, when we learned about the younger
siblings, we had last heard, through Raul, at least a decade ago, that Olinda
had been bitten by a snake and was paralyzed. We sent some money, but never
heard back. We knew nothing more, not even if Olinda was still alive.
This trip we will start off in Iquitos, the closet place to
fly in, and also the largest city in the world with no road access to other
places. We will spend five days there, probably go to Tamshiyacu to visit, and
then Loring and I will spend five days in a jungle lodge while Carolina and
Franz stay in Iquitos to visit further with her “new” family. Tamshiyacu is
only reachable by boat, about an hour from Iquitos in the “fast” boat.
We are staying at two lodges run by Amazonia Expeditions,
run by America jungle explorer Paul Beaver.I had researched two companies, this one and Explorama tours, both
of which have been there since the early 1980’s. Now there are many more,
ranging from rustic to deluxe.
Our first trip to Peru was prompted by a question from
Loring’s sister Sherry, in 1985. She had
decided to visit the Amazonian jungle and asked if we would like to join her. I
said no, thinking of how much mosquitoes like me, and how much I do not like
them. Sherry went on her trip, but I remained intrigued by Peru, just not the
jungle. And so, I planned a trip for Loring and me, to Lima, Machu Picchu,
Arequipa, Paracas, and Nazca (home of the famous ancient lines in the desert.)
It was a great trip.
(Coincidentally, when I recently asked Sherry if she remembered which
company she went with to the jungle, it was one of the two we had been
considering. She immediately contacted Dr. Beaver, only to be told that he had
already heard from us. So of course that was the outfit we decided to go with,
although the other had sounded equally appealing.)
Two years later, when we had decided to adopt a baby from
abroad, we went to an informational meeting at a large adoption agency, Wide
Horizons. The director went alphabetically down the list of countries and
agencies they worked with, in about 20 countries. Each agency had its own set
of prerequisites. Some had an upper age limit, others accepted only couples,
others dealt only with folks of a certain religion. I set with bated breath,
wondering what would preclude us from Peru. (we’d already decided that was our
first choice.) When she got to Peru, the
policies were very liberal, the major requirement was that at least one parent
had to spend at least a month, probably two, in Lima for the duration of the
adoption process.
I was thrilled, nearly jumping out of my seat in the room of
at least a hundred prospective parents. A man raised his hand to question why
anyone would choose to adopt from Peru. I was incredulous, but not as much as when the
agency director responded that she wondered that too.
I understand that not everyone could or would want to spend
an amount of time abroad, but for us it was perfect. I was planning to leave my
job, and for us the idea of spending time in the country of our child’s birth
was a big plus. The agency director’s
response (I don’t remember the rest of what she said, but think it had to do with
that being the only choice for some people) still stays with me some 30 years
later.
I will stop here, and pick up again once we are in
Peru. There are a lot of unknowns,
including how our relationship with Carolina’s birth family will develop, and also
what we will find in our jungle excursion. Hopefully not more mosquitoes or
biting ants than I can handle. Paul Beaver wrote a book a couple of decades
back, describing in great detail the many kinds of creatures he has been bitten
by. (he says, seriously I guess, that
it’s required reading for the trip. ) I am almost finished reading it. I do have my head to toe mosquito netting
outfit, which I will hopefully not be teased too much about, and more
importantly, hopefully will do some good, along with the strong chemical repellent we will
bring.
Stay tuned for more, starting next week. We depart on July 4th.
